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  • April 2010
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Papa Didn’t Raise No Fool

The Issue

  

The Cause

  

The Solution

Welcome to my laundry room friends. 

Please note that 2×4’s may not actually be 2 inches by 4 inches but when you receive a 4 day beating from one they still hurt. 

Can I get a flipping break? Please? 

What exactly is going on in these pictures? 

First, there is water in the laundry room. No it hasn’t rained the ground is dry. So where, might I ask, is this water coming from? It’s coming straight up the ground through the cement in a little UPS package from Hell courtesy of the Devil. He says HI 

Draino? Liquid Plumber? Pipe snake? Roto Rooter? No, they can’t help me. 

Dad says there’s a clog. Okey Dokey no problem, I can deal with a clog. 

Dad rephrases and says there’s a cracked pipe. Ohhh hellz to the freaking NO. There is not a cracked pipe. How do I know this? Because my bank account tells me so! 

Dad senses the panic, fear and near breakdown in his favorite child and rephrase again and says we’ll just have to wait and see  what the plumber says on Wednesday. Nice save. You almost lost me  to an aneurism over “cracked pipe”. Ain’t nothing cracked in this house except for me. 

As you can clearly see in the second picture, something somewhere is clogged. This is the only inkling as to what and where that wet floor is coming from. The Man says it’s not from the Devil and we need to find the real source. We agree to disagree, I think I’m being tested. 

What in the world am I doing in the third? I’m shop vac’ing the laundry water out of the laundry tub. From there I drag the vac and 12 gallons of water to the back door to drain. There is no picture of this. Me doing physical labor isn’t cute in any way. It’s also hard to take pictures when your fighting a vacuum heavier than yourself. Whatever. 

Why did I HAVE to do laundry while having an obvious issue? Because we were out of under-roos. Literally. We had a party on Saturday, I didn’t even clean up from it. Didn’t touch a freaking plate, couldn’t. So no I didn’t do laundry. My grand plan of last week was to lounge on Sunday and do all the laundry and all would be right. I couldn’t even be in my house on Sunday, let alone sit around and watch clothes dry. 

No big really, I knew I would get to it and we have plenty of clothes. Monday we saw water. Monday, the Man went to change out of his work clothes and came downstairs in dress jeans and a button down. I asked why. He looked at me like I had 4 heads and said because that’s all he had. 

Wife FAIL 

Tuesday morning was a desperate search for work attire. Employee FAIL. 

Tuesday night I spent an hour trying to figure out if I could use an accordion air filter as a wash board and if YouTube  had any videos on 19th century laundry techniques. I couldn’t and they didn’t. 

No, I was NOT going to a laundry mat. I don’t do public things. It’s against everything in my OCD heart. I can barely get in a taxi cab. There was no way I was going to wash my clothes where other dirty clothes had been. YUCK 

The Devil thought he had me but jokes on him, I’m not a natural blonde and I turned to the shop vac. 4 loads of laundry, 8 vacuum dumps, 2 overflows and at least 5 freak outs over where that big spider was later. I have under-roos again.

Its the small victories!

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5 Responses

  1. “Favorite Child” girlfriend you’ve lost your mind, you know as well as everyone else the baby sister, being me, is the favorite. Don’t fret i’m sure he likes well enough. Dad and I had a 15 minute conversation yesterday about your cracked pipe near breakdown, and my summer class cost nervous breakdown we might be giving him more grey hair than we realize : )

  2. this is lol funny!!!! Really Rachel; you could write a book and make lots of money! Make sure you update facebook with whatever happens next; I can hardly breathe from laughing; but want things fixed for you ❤ ya!

  3. You know you could have come over to do laundry at my place. Let me know if you need any help!!!

  4. OMG…I agree with Aunt Neen! You DEFINITELY need to write a book. The next Erma Bombeck! Too funny!!!

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