• My Love and I

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  • April 2010
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Worth the Jail Time

Dear US Air,

I would just like you to know that I hate you. Strongly hate. Like from the scum on the bottom of my shoe to the last little bitty hair on my head I ooze a unparalled hate for you.

As I sit here thinking about your airline I’m sweating and seething and thinking about all of your (unoccupied) planes burning in the flames of hell.

That’s all. I just wanted you to know.

Unkindly yours,


Okay so that’s not exactly how I’m going to write my letter but I’m writing a fricking letter. You can check out the hubs blog for the unabridged  version. Brevity is my friend so I give you the short version…

  • Thursday 8:40pm – we are denied online check in.
  • Thursday 8:55pm – denied phone check in
  • Friday 7:00pm – printed boarding pass with no seat.
  • Friday 7:01pm – taps chin with interest and gears up for fight of life
  • Friday 7:45pm – told to take a seat and wait it out we are on standby
  • Friday 8:39 – called for boarding!!!
  • Friday 8:40 – pushed aside by total dbag in full Ed Hardy wear who has a confirmed seat. US Airsay “ohh so close” Rachel replies with “f-you lint licker”
  • Friday 9:00pm – still no flight
  • Friday 9:30pm – still no flight, offered to fly to 7 different airports with in a 6hr driving radius of destination
  • Friday 9:35pm – US Air says maybe Monday but that will be stand by too
  • Friday 10:00pm – Rachel and The Man book a flight out of Allentown on Saturday with confirmed seats. Rent a car. Drive to Allentown. Rent a room. Sleep for 4 hrs. Return car and wait patiently for a new flight.
  • Thursday (one week later) – US Air says, “I’m sorry since you did not fly TO Ft. Lauderdale we assumed you had no need to fly FROM Ft. Lauderdale and your entire ticket was cancelled. You do NOT have a return flight” DIE DIE DIE Evil beasts! The fight ensues. The Man gets us seats and by the grace of God we get home at our regularly scheduled time.

The best line of the whole debacle was US Air response to my “guaranteed seat” inquiry, the US Air manager replied with, “you are guaranteed a seat, just not on this particular flight”. Ex-frickin-scuse me biotch!

Best part was as the Man and I wait patiently for our turn to be dealt with, the psychotic mothers from hell are pushing us aside. Insisting that they be dealt with first because of the children. Umm your “kids” are teenagers and they can kindly sit the F down and shut up. I really wasn’t in the mood for the 15 yr old whining about their vacation. Face it Tinkerbell, you are with your parents, they aren’t going to be fun for at least another 10 years.

So ends my air travel. I have promised myself that I won’t fly. I just don’t see the point.

We were once stuck in FL for 3 days. Booo hoo, right? Wrong. It blows. Extra parking, extra dog sitting, extra  vacation time, extra freaking everything. Thank you US Air!

You need your husband home like yesterday from TN. Forget it! US Air cancels his flight. It will be two more days till he gets home! By then I will have solved the problem on my own, which is NOT something I enjoy doing.

We have been evacuated from airports on to a steaming tarmac in Southern FL on the hottest day of their Autumn season. Dressed for OCT in Pennsyl-flippin-vania. Technically that wasn’t US Air’s fault but I feel somehow it was linked to them.

Delayed by 3 hrs? (too many times to count) That’s nothing. We’re lucky if the plane even takes off.

US Air owes us hours upon hours of wasted time. I intend to collect.

Other than that vacation was a blast. We had a great time getting to spend some time with family. The boys went fishing and golfing. I lived the life I was meant to. Lounging in the pool working on becoming a slightly darker shade of reflective. It’s an awesome feeling when you do something and realize that it was what you were born to do. Lounge. Whether it be asphalt, pool or grass I was born to do little more than lounge.

I returned to work with a broken copier, broken wire, missing checks, lost mail keys and a plethora of questions. I suddenly realized that the jail time for strangling the US Air attendant would not have been worse than returning to work. I should have taken advantage of what was being offered.

I have to go attach something to an email now. No attaching a picture is not different from attaching a letter. Make a note of it!


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